When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be – Lao Tzu

In the western culture, parent often encourage children to leave the nest and fly on their own. Sometimes we need to push ourselves and sometimes we need a push from someone else. Mother Eagle knows best!

There are some lessons to be learnt from this story that could make all the difference to whether we succeed or fail!

After University, for a while  I tried to stay cocooned in the world of academia and the security of my parents home, unwilling to give up the world that was familiar and reluctant to seek out what awaited me in the world out there.

In my case, being the youngest of five children, I was always instinctively aware that I was at risk of not  becoming independent because parents typically do not want to let go of their youngest child. 

So, I decided to take matters into my own hands and in so doing secured a life of independence forever! I accepted scholarships in far off lands where I had no safety net of friends and family, no money and where my survival and thriving would depend entirely on my own efforts.

In France with only very basic french speaking skills, I quickly became proficient in the language, and supplemented the scholarship stipend with many decidedly “odd” jobs. 

These included among many new academic pursuits the joys of  baby sitting, walking 12 dogs in the afternoons between classes, assisting a  blind doctor with his research, setting up art gallery showings for budding painters, interestingly, in Pablo Picasso’s old studio, participating in archaeological digs and house sitting for Leo Tolstoy’s great grandson.

The entire experience was so invigorating and enlightening that it gave me a fresh perspective of the joys that lurk in unexpected places when you seek out the unknown beyond the confines of your comfort zone.

And there it was that I learnt the bliss of letting go and soaring higher than I had ever imagined. The rush of Independence and the freedom of choices and risks were like a taste of fresh blood to a centuries old starved vampire! Having experienced it I could never go back to the narrow existence of a secure life again.

We cling to the perceived safety of our current realities, afraid to let go of the rung on the ladder we are holding on to because of the fear of falling off it.  But we know that in order to reach for the next rung, indeed to climb that ladder to greater achievements we have to relinquish our grip on the rung that we are clinging to.

As managers and team leaders bound not only within organizational hierarchies, but by well defined roles for ourselves and our team members we often seek to make them dependent on us.

I was recently speaking to a  young team leader who said that her team showed little initiative to think or do things for themselves, beyond what they were directed to do.

Often the leaders fail to see that they play a part in the performance of their team members  and the great need for today’s leaders is to empower their team members – to give them a little push and watch them soar beyond their expectations.

It is an ageless question – should we protect them (or our jobs) by seeking to keep the umbilical cord intact by keeping them dependent on us for direction – or should we cut them loose to grow and soar and outperform  their own potential.

Yes, it is true that they may make mistakes sometimes, but it is valuable learning that they have to experience first hand for themselves in order to fully understand how they need to improve. And trite though it may seem, experience is the best teacher.

No amount of book learning, attending seminars and courses and asking for advice from the mentors in our lives can compensate for the delicious thrill that comes from leaping off the edge of that cliff with courage and determination and powerfully forging a new life for ourselves!

The possibilities are endless. All it needs is a little or big push from someone who cares, and in the absence of that push, to push ourselves out from our narrow orbits and launch ourselves on a  journey of discovery and endless success.

Are you being pushed or are you pushing yourself forward?