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Burn After Reading!


Jealousy is the tribute mediocrity pays to Genius – Fulton J. Sheen

Achieve any small measure of success and Jealousy or Envy will rear it’s ugly head around you! This is certain. It is an undeniable marker and milestone of Success!

Nisha (not her actual name to protect her identity)  is a client of mine who has achieved phenomenal heights of success once she started getting her head down and going for her dream with every thing she had! This has taken her two years of concerted effort, determination and sheer grit.  For someone who had sold out on her dreams because the world had told her she did not deserve it, it was not worth pursuing and that she was not good enough to compete with other big names out there, she has earned her new found success.

However, she stopped right in her tracks when she began to  face the fire of jealousy and envy that was being hurled at her. She got flak even from her own family members and her children turned on her accusing her of self centred motivation and neglect. Her mother and sister accused her of being too big for her boots and she started crumbling. She came to me in tears for her coaching and mastermind session and it was all we could do to keep her fixed on the goal of her Dream.

She had nurtured this dream since childhood, had carefully protected it for years but had put other peoples needs before her own, until I asked her, Who’s Life are you leading? Are you a catalyst for others and not for yourself? If you were your own child, what would you do for yourself. This last question appealed strongly to her maternal instincts, as she realized that she was playing parental favourites with her offspring and neglecting her own inner child who was falling apart inside of her.

I think it was this visual of her scared and wistful inner child with no one to defend her or her dream which first fueled her first actions to go for her dream full throttle and may many days of burning the candlestick both ways , she is beginning to finally see her dream come to life.

But now, she is finding herself wondering, was it worth it. Success is certainly not sweet if you can’t share it with your loved ones.

It is clear that her immediate family and friends have not been bneglected, Family is one of her highest values. However, due to her new found success, they are being forced to perceive her ina  different role than what they had previously been accustomed to! This hit her hard.  She was on the point of giving up on herself yet again when I asked her some crucial questions.

1. Is your dream worth dying for?

Keep in mind Death comes in different forms…not just giving up of our lives, but allowing our spirit to be crushed before the opinions of the world.

2. Whose opinion matters the Most?
Is what people say important to you?  Do the opinions of your loved ones count enough to allow them to walk all over your dreams? Do you have an opinion and is it being drowned out?

3. Who is most responsible for your well being?
Who takes care of you and looks after your mental, emotional,  spiritual, physical and financial well being?
Who nurtures your spirit, stays in your corner at all times? Are you being your own best friend?

Predictably she found her own answers within her.  No prizes for gusessing what she decided to do next.

Which brings us back to Jealousy. Its a strong emotion and something that the person experiencing it will have to ponder on. Often I find it is deep rooted feelings of inadequacy that comes up in others when they see someone going unabashedly for their dreams. It may bode well to have them explore why they feel jealous if they are brave enough to explore that at a deeper level.

It is when we allow jealousy to flourish without self examination to rein those feelings in and to channel them into more productive pursuits that it becomes a self destructive force, destroying us and others who are achieving the very things we wish we would have achieved for ourselves! Consider the Crucifixion of  Jesus who was not out to bring down the Roman empire, but sought only to preach a message of hope and love and the greater Kingdom of God.

So, To all those who have been the recipients of Jealousy and envy as you Put your dream to the test and begin tasting success, you will begin to get hate mail and other manifestations of envy. Do NOT be afraid! The ones who celebrate you and with you, are the ones who have stood the test of true friendship! After all Success can be achieved in many different ways, but we have to EARN Jealousy! Wiser and Purer Ones before us have also encountered this and have been crucified for it! Enjoy it! It is a certain marker of success!

And to those who experience jealousy and burn after reading this post, believe me, I understand.  I have experienced it too, it is an all too familiar human emotion. However , there is a solution! When you examine what makes you jealous, and find the root cause deep within you, you will often find it is a deep rooted dream you once had for your self, that you allowed the world to stomp on.

You may choose to continue to BURN after reading this post. Or you may choose to indulge in a spot of good healthy self examination. It is YOUR choice!

Which group do you belong to? And what are you doing about it?

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Categories : Relationships

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